21. April 2009

It’s been a while that I have written here anything and people already have started writing my what has happened what I have done. So I’ll try to put down something, tho it actually can’t be really described real well, you have to experience it.

As I wrote in last blog, then we were heading to Hervey Bay to spend some time. And we really did literally spend time there. The place was quite nice, there was free breakfast and we paid like 8 dollars a night each, because we were staying in a tent. The backpackers was away from town centre, but there was courtesy bus going and coming regularly. But there wasn’t much to do in the town centre too :P, it was quite small town. So most of the days we were just doing nothing, reading books, takings some sun, swimming in the pool or in the sea, played tennis and so on. We spent there around a week or 8 days, which doesn’t matter actually.

After that we headed to Pomona to participate in meditation and silence course for 10 days. We didn’t do much of research about it, but we had quite a motivation, which actually came in useful later on :P. I really can’t explain everything in here and there isn’t actually much point for doing that either. There were and are few things that I could argue with concerning the theoretical part, but the most important part is acceptable. And these are sila, samadhi and panna, which in translation are morality, concentration/ mastery of the mind and wisdom/insight that purifies the mind. Can’t argue with that.

Another things that I actually knew before, but in there was reminded me. All things and beings are just atoms and molecules. I knew that and know that only on theoretical level, I haven’t seen or experienced it myself, so even though I really know and believe that it is that way, something inside me is trying to argue with me, cause there are no touchable proof for that. And this meditation is suppose to help actually experience and see it yourself, it didn’t happen in those 10 days, but I really hope so that one day I will see the world THE WAY IT IS. And all that should conclude that everything is changing, because atoms and molecules are all the time moving, vibrating, raising and passing as are all the sensations that humans feel, sooner or later all comes to an end. Maybe seems pessimistic, but if you think about it, it isn’t actually, it’s just the way it is, the reality. As you should realize that everything is changing and everything is just atoms and molecules, there should be no more I, me and mine.

As there are so many people there are so many different opinions, so there are also different ways. No one can tell me what is right and what is wrong way to live, that is probably the most important lesson I got from there, I have to experience it my self and that’s what Goenka, the teacher was saying too. As I am young there are so much more to learn and see, but till I find something better I will stick to this meditation and try to keep meditating regularly, as I am travelling, moving from one place to another and humans tend to not try to change, go with the change.

After the course it has been really hard to write a blog, because it is hard to find thoughts, but I guess I’m doing alright.

One thing that I came up to my mind while meditating (among lot of other weird, cool, embarrassing, motivating and so on things) was that there has been so many people that have affected my life directly and indirectly, good way or not so good way. I would like to say big thank you to all those people, because thanks to you I am here where I am, I have experienced so many things because of who you are and what you have done. Though all haven’t been the way I wanted to be, all haven’t been good always, but still I am where I am today because all of that. In the same time I want to apologize to all those people who’s lives I have affected negatively, because I’m not easy person to always be around and sometimes make life a hell, even if I haven’t done it deliberately. It sounds weird, but I am weird and I am proud of it :P. Under this would go the saying be the change you want to see in the world. I know that I have been a fool sometimes, but that’s the person who I have been and now I will try to change, not to make other people suffer. I haven’t been a best son, brother, friend, relative and so on, but can’t change things that have already been. I will try to change and I care about everyone who have been, are and will be in my life, even my “enemies”.

If someone is interested of this course, check it out: http://www.dhamma.org/

May everyone live a happy life…